Life feeling Overwhelming~

In the last five yrs. my depression has gotten worse. I've let so many things I used to do go. I was an organized person. I kept up with the lawn mowing, & weeding flowerbeds & other tasks. I planted flowers & a few tomato plants. Now I can't keep up with yard work, house work, grocery shopping, or laundry & much more. I have so many paper piles to be shredded & filing cabinet full of old statements...ugh! In the last five & a half yrs. I've had my grandchildren living with us off & on or I'm babysitting them. I feel like I'm raising a family all over again. I question myself on how I was able to stay organized & kept up with my duties when I was a young mom. I also worked then to & sometimes two jobs. Maybe it's because I'm in my mid fifties now & I'm tired. My body hurts all the time. I have hip & back pain no matter what I do or don't do. It's really frustrating I can't do the things I used to do. I feel like I can't ever go anywhere due to all the things I need to do, but even if I stay home (which I choose to do a lot) I don't get anything done. 

Now I've got to deal with my aging parents. They need to move to a safer place. Some place like assistant living. They don't want to move. For fifty five yrs. they've lived very isolated lives, so this kinda move will be hard for them. They live in California. Their health is bad. They both fall a lot. My mom has to walk with two canes & should be using a walker. They are 78 & 79.

Because I'm always feeling overwhelmed. I go for drives & ho watch sunsets. I think about the "what life used to be like!" It's hard to see the changes of life. Some are good & some I don't like! I feel like I'm not aging with grace...lol! 

I'm thankful I have my Heavenly Father who carries me in the times when I feel like I can't go on in life. It is his Hope, & his Love that keeps me pressing on in this journey one day at a time...

School days & Summer days~

Friday June 5th was the last day of school & it makes me sad when school is over... It means the grandkids are going into the next grade. Jayven starts kindergarten this fall. Wow...where did the last 5 & 1/2 yrs. go? I thought time went fast when my daughters were growing up. The older I get time seems to fly faster then lighting...lol! 

I love my job as a school bus driver. Kids make me laugh & I love seeing their energy for life! There are days as a substitute driver it's not so fun, but those days don't happen very often. Theres going to be some changes next school yr. My boss announced he is retiring before school starts. I was sad to hear this, yet happy for him. He's been in school transportation for 41 yrs. He's been one of my favorite bosses. There will also be changes with the office staff. There will be 4 new positions. 

I'm praying Jen will be off of graveyard shifts by then. Then I can take a regular route. There will be about 6 routes open. 

In the mean time I will enjoy summer the best I can. I still have them nasty Yellowjackets! It's not fun to be outside with them darn things swarming around you. Since they made an underground nest a few yrs. ago they have been really bad every yr. since. 

My parents are not in good health & I'm  making a trip to Cali to talk them into moving to a safer place. They both fall a lot. It's a hard thing to deal with. 

Farmers Market & Yard Sales

Market Market~

Jayven & I made plans a few days ago to go to Farmers Market this morning. Jayven calls it "Market Market"...lol! Not real sure why this kid loves going to Market Market; he just does! He asked if he could spend the night so we could go as soon as we woke up he said. He got his favorite popcorn at Market Market & a few books from the yard sale. I got a cheese grater & a little sign all for .35 cents. I've been looking for a small wooden desk for my granddaughter Aura's room for about 6 mos. or more & I'm not having any luck finding one. Now that school is out we are going to paint her room & make new curtains. Hopefully find that desk soon... 

A Tea Party!

Shaylei & Aura were bored so they decided to have a Tea Party in the backyard. They made tea sandwhices with Nutella & cut the sandwhices into little squares. They also poured little French Toast Cereal in little bowls. They served Milk in place of tea. They used their imagination decorating the table. It was cute to watch them put things together. They enjoyed the sandwhices & the little French toast with their milk along with chit-chatting with each other. 

I love these girls. I'm Thankful for these moments especially when life gets hard at times.